PBL Standings – 4/11/2015

West W L Pct. GB L10 Strk RS RA
 Milwaukee Bear Claws Milwaukee Bear Claws 5 2 .714 5-2 L1 35 25
 California Sharks California Sharks 4 2 .667 1/2 4-2 W1 39 33
 Silver City Outlaws Silver City Outlaws 4 2 .667 1/2 4-2 W4 34 20
 Salt Lake Samurai Salt Lake Samurai 0 7 .000 5 0-7 L7 26 56
East W L Pct. GB L10 Strk RS RA
 Knoxville Smokies Knoxville Smokies 5 1 .833 5-1 W1 47 20
 Jacksonville Dragons Jacksonville Dragons 4 1 .800 1/2 4-1 W2 25 24
 Orlando Calrissians Orlando Calrissians 1 4 .200 3 1/2 1-4 L2 17 34
 Jackson Hammerheads Jackson Hammerheads 1 5 .167 4 1-5 L1 29 40

Wallace Fined For Remarks

Snuff Wallace
Snuff Wallace

The Knoxville Smokies have fined manager Snuff Wallace $50,000 in reaction to a series of comments he made insulting other teams and fans in the Patriot League’s preseason prediction article.

In the article, Wallace called Milwaukee Bear Claws pitching coach Zane Stafford “Loony Zane” and predicting that the Silver City Outlaws would win the west because “the fans will kill off the other team.”

Along with the fine, Smokies owner/GM Jeremiah Mills issued a press release stating, “The opinions of Snuff Wallace are his own and in no way reflect the opinions of the Smokies organization.”

Wallace reacted to the fine was indignation.  “Hell, I was just trying to have a little fun and start some rivalries,” Wallace said.  “But I guess the brownshirts in charge of this team don’t like fun.  Well, fine.  If they don’t want me to talk, I won’t.”

Wallace announced that he has taken a vow of silence until the team rescinds his fine.  According to team sources, the skipper has requested a “glance translator” who will speak on his behalf at all media sessions. It is rumored that the Knoxville front office has reached out to the agent for Seahawks star Marshawn Lynch for advice on how to proceed.  Anonymous sources close to Wallace expect the manager to keep up the silent treatment for “five hours, maybe six if we’re lucky.”

Patriot League Preseason Predictions

We asked each of the Patriot League’s owner/GMs to offer their forecasts on how their teams would fare this season.  Enjoy their picks and predictions below:


California SharksCalifornia Sharks

“Well, since my manager already said we’re going to win a title, I suppose the least I can do is agree with him.  Seriously, I think our rotation is strong, our lineup is solid one-through-nine, and our fielders can cover a ton of ground.  If we have good luck with injuries, I think we’ve got a shot at this.”

Colin Mills, owner


Jackson HammerheadsJackson Hammerheads

“This team has the potential to be a perennial contender. With a top team batting average and on base percentage coming into the season, the opposition will be hard pressed to get anyone in this lineup out top to bottom. A young nucleus, with a few key vets make this team a force to reckon with. Look for the team’s whiz kid GM (me) to make a couple splashes throughout the season.”

Steven Butler, owner


Jacksonville DragonsJacksonville Dragons

“Every opposing pitcher will be sweating bullets on the mound at Tesla Field, and if the Dragons can hit as many homers as I think we will, we have a good chance to win the East.”

Eric Stetson, owner


Knoxville SmokiesKnoxville Smokies

“Ain’t I supposed to say my guys are the best? Hell, you want me to pick who we’ll facing? I’ll say someone from the West cause the East don’t qualify! I would have said Milwaukee but they hired that guy Loony Zane.  Give me the Outlaws cause the fans will kill off the other teams.”

Snuff Wallace, manager


Milwaukee Bear ClawsMilwaukee Bear Claws

“I don’t want to be overconfident, but I think we’ve got a good shot to make the playoffs.  I’m not saying we’re going to win it all, but I think we’re going to be very competitive.”

Jennifer Petitt, owner


Orlando CalrissiansOrlando Calrissians

“[No response, probably because he knows his team is doomed or he’s too chicken to argue otherwise.]”

Brian Aufmuth, owner


Salt Lake SamuraiSalt Lake Samurai

“We will finish as high as we possibly can with the talent we have. It will depend on the strength of our opponents. Success or failure might depend on the pitching. Their arms carry the answer.”

Sarah Buehler, owner


Silver City OutlawsSilver City Outlaws

There ain’t a gunslinger worth the silver in his belt buckle goes into a fight thinkin’ he’s ever gonna lose.  We’ve put together a set of bats to rival anyone and a couple of aces that could knock a flea off a pin at a hundred paces.  In my not-uneducated opinion, the only thing that’ll stop us from taking the Series this year is us shootin’ ourselves in the foot..”

Hank Stroman, GM