Longroofan Accuses Dragons Pen of Tanking

John Longroofan
John Longroofan

Former Jacksonville Dragons reliever John Longroofan, who had a brief but colorful tenure with the team earlier in the season, is back with a startling accusation.  Longroofan alleged that he, along with several Dragons relievers, conspired to throw games.

“Oh, yeah, we were definitely fixing,” said Longroofan.  “Practically everybody in the bullpen was in on it.  It kind of became a joke.  We’d ask each other, ‘Who’s bringing home the bacon today?’  And by ‘bacon,’ we meant money.  From gamblers.  We’d make thousands in a single game.”

According to Longroofan, the game-fixing agreement was already in place before he was called up to the Dragons.  “I didn’t find out about it until I got up there,” said Longroofan.  He said that shortly after he joined the team, closer Razor Corridon took him aside to tell him about the deal.  “He asked me if I wanted in,” said Longroofan.  “Obviously, I wanted to do well and impress people.  But I could see that if I went along, there would be a good chunk of change in it for me.  So I said okay.”

According to Longroofan, his erratic on-field behavior, which included numerous middle fingers flipped at the stands and even dropping his pants on one occasion, was designed to conceal his participation in the fix.  “Obviously, if I just went out there and started sucking, everyone would notice,” said the young fireballer.  “So I played it off like I was drunk or crazy, so they wouldn’t catch on that I was tanking.”

Longroofan’s stint in a Dragons uniform lasted only 5 appearances, in which he compiled an 0-1 record and a 22.00 ERA.  He was unceremoniously demoted in mid-May.  He says that when it became clear that the Jacksonville organization had no intention of giving him a second chance, he decided to go public with his story.  “I mean, all those guys still got jobs, and they were fixing like me,” said Longroofan.  “Why should I be the only one to suffer?”

Longroofan’s accusations rocked both the Dragons organization and the Patriot League as a whole.  This is the first time that accusations of impropriety have been leveled within the league.  The reliever’s former teammates were quick to disavow the existence of a fix.  “That’s just insane,” said right-hander Whitney Winslow.  “I know a lot of us relievers have had a tough year, myself included, but that doesn’t mean we’re on the take.  I don’t even know where he would come up with something like that.”

Corridon, the man whom Longroofan accused of bringing him into the fix, reacted with mystification.  “That’s a really strange thing,” said Corridon.  “I liked the kid and I kind of tried to take him under my wing, and this is the thanks I get.  Roofie was a strange and troubled guy, but I never imagined he’d come up with some crazy story like this.”

Dragons manager Harlan Davidson snorted when informed of the accusations and quipped, “It sure as hell would explain a lot.”  But when asked if he considered the accusations credible, the skipper was firm:  “Absolutely not.  N-O.  Not a chance in hell.  Who the hell listens to a screwed-up washout kid who’s probably on drugs?”

Dragons owner Eric Stetson was also quick to defend his players.  “While this season has fallen short of my expectations, I am appalled that Mr. Longroofan would try to besmirch our organization with these baseless charges.  I do not for one second believe that any of my players would participate in such a scheme.  I hope that Mr. Longroofan gets the professional help he clearly needs, and stops trying to spin wild conspiracy theories to conceal his own failures.”

PBL Commissioner Jeremiah Mills issued a statement that read in part: “Mr. Longroofan has raised grave and serious charges against one of our member teams.  While I personally find the accusations difficult to believe, I owe it to the integrity of the league to conduct a full and thorough investigation of the charges.  Once I have determined the merit, if any, behind the accusations, I will take appropriate action.”

Stetson indicated that the Dragons organization will comply fully with the investigation, saying, “We look forward to a quick and complete vindication.”

3 thoughts on “Longroofan Accuses Dragons Pen of Tanking

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