PBL Announces Expansion World Cup

Today, the PBL announced the creation of a new trophy: the moderately prestigious Expansion World Cup.  The trophy will be open to the four teams of the expansion Class of 2016: the Carolina Comets, Kalamazoo Kazoos, Las Vegas Narwhals, and New Orleans Sazeracs.  The Cup will be awarded to the expansion team that finishes with the best record.  The trophy, which is made of fool’s gold, is in the shape of a hand forming the shape of an “L.”  On the side, it is emblazoned with the Cup’s slogan, “Hey, At Least You Tried!”  The trophy will be awarded each year until one or more of the expansion teams makes the playoffs.

“The Patriot League always encourages anything that fosters rivalry and a sense of heightened competition during the season,” said league president Colin Mills.  “The expansion teams probably won’t be competing for the playoffs right away, so this is a fun and enjoyable way to give them something to compete for, and it makes the games a little more exciting.”

Mills compared the Cup to the highly prestigious Chum Bucket, “only it will be less highly prestigious, of course.”  The highly prestigious Chum Bucket, which is awarded to the winner of the season series between the California Sharks and Jackson Hammerheads, is a bait bucket plated in an undisclosed but extremely shiny metal.

The Expansion World Cup was the brainchild of Sazeracs owner Jeff Wiggins.  “It’s a motivation to be the best of the worst,” said Wiggins.  “It gives us a trophy to fight for, since we clearly aren’t fighting for the main one.”  Wiggins’ Sazeracs and the Kazoos are currently the front-runners for the Cup, although the Narwhals have been gaining ground recently.

Patriot League Commissioner Jeremiah Mills cautioned the expansion owners not to “go overboard” in the competition for the Cup, or severe fines would be assessed.  “This league is all about good clean fun,” Mills said, “except when Snuff Wallace is involved.”

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